Introduction
Divorce is in itself a social “vice” to children. They are normally affected in a wide range of cases and incidences. They are the immediate victims of divorce in incomparable emotional, social and even economic harm. Their life seems to be turned around from the normalcy of things to a whole new trajectory of sorrow and lack of parental guidance and motivation. This implies that the overall quality of life of such an individual has been reduced and left to a whole new environment that lacks parental affection and guidance. This at times becomes detrimental to the life of the victims in such a way that they may be reduced emotionally to a level where they would never recover. From a general point of view, divorce has adverse effects of to the welfare of the society: The social inputs that every member has contributed in terms of capital are reduced to almost nothing. Similarly, human capital that has always existed within the society is usually at stake when divorce sets in.
This paper is a research about the causes, effects of divorce on parents, children and the statistics of divorce in Qatar. This can be explained in a more elaborate context, for instance, the overall costs to the taxpayer is likely to go up while actually lowering the portion of the society that exist as taxpayers (Hatchwell, 2016).When parents’ divorce, children are forced to live with either of their parents which as mentioned above have effects not only on them but also on their biological parents. Divorced is caused by several factors as discussed below.
1) Research Methodology
This particular research uses an analytical descriptive framework that would see through the successful presentation of ideas and eventual completion of the project. This is because the sources used require in depth analysis and precise comprehension of ideas drawn thereof. For instance, this research talks about divorce, its causes and eventually its effects. The information presented has undergone complete analysis. This therefore has involved the findings and implications of divorce to the society. It focuses on the children since they are the immediate victims and therefore are affected by it directly.
The project attempts to give answers to questions such as: What actually drives a married couple towards filing for and effecting divorce? What are the consequences of divorce on children? What are some of the possible solutions to the problem of increasing divorce cases among the current society members?
The research has used questionnaires and interviews of the urban people in order to come up with a general conclusion concerning the topic. The participants were selected at random between the age of 25 to 45. After all the information was gathered and written down, the research was statistically analyzed using Google Docs Website. After which, the data was presented into statistical charts and tables to give more meaning and give a good physical impression.
- Causes of Divorce
Divorce has the power to completely change and even reverse culture and all that it entails. The former American culture didn’t recognize divorce and saw it as a social vice. It is only after a few decades that cases of divorce increased. This led to establishment of laws that governed and protected divorce, people displayed a behavioral change and more surprisingly celebrated it. Their attitude towards this changed to a more inviting and advocating way such that it is no longer scandalous as before but another normal for the today’s American society. This projects seeks to find out the several causes divorce and its effects that have been highlighted (Hatchwell, 2016). Some causes of divorce include: getting married for the wrong reasons such as money, having no certainty of individual identity, forgetting about family roles, having no common goals and vision of success, lose and disappearance of intimacy between couples, emergence of expectations that were not met, lack of finances and having differing interests and priorities.
There are several factors that can lead to divorce ranging from individual/personality factors to technological factors. There has been advancement in technology in the 21st century to a point that it even has control over marriages and families. ‘Electronic infidelity’ is one of the leading causes of divorce today. The era of smartphones has bridged the gaps between people and made the world a global village. Most marriages fail because of how spouses use electronic gadgets e.g. smartphones and computers to communicate with their past lovers and even establish new relationships at the comfort of their homes or offices (Williams, Sawyer, &Wahlstrom2012). According to them these machines have advantages which can act as setbacks. For example, their ability to store information. Divorce occurs when one couple finds information stored in these devices which is proof of infidelity.
Inability to resolve conflicts is another cause of divorce. Conflicts exists everywhere, even at individual level. Sometimes we find difficulties in deciding even what we want and this means we have conflicts within ourselves. Conflicts have advantages as well as disadvantages. When people are married, conflicts are bound to occur and since it is inevitable, how to resolve it therefore, becomes crucial for the sake of the marriage (Buss 1991). When married, couples are always in conflicts and leave them unresolved, they pile up and one day erupt and things get out of hand. Most couples try to work things out when it is already too late. Unresolved conflicts act as little bits of poison which lead to the ultimate death of the marriage.
Another cause of divorce is the lack of individual identity (Kuciarska-Ciesielska1992). This can be understood by having the knowledge that everyone in a relationship has the right to express his or her opinions and interest independently. This can be seen in a number of cases such as when one becomes uncomfortable with the movies, music or the type of food that the other partner likes. When this happens, a sense of irritation or complete boredom may creep in between the married couple. For this reason, most partners usually seek explanations in a way more frustrating states. Clearly this is likely to result into a heated argument and even worse lead to a divorce since one partner may be fed up with putting up with the other partner’s behavior. Therefore, for a healthy and a lasting family, couples should identify their interests and work on ways that they would use to harmonize their interests and opinions.
Causes of divorce have become so many that the society no longer sees it as a threat to social development and co-existence. First, getting married for money has seen many couples part ways when that exact point turns out to be the opposite. This is not only regarded as the causes to some of the quickest divorce but it’s also one that presents one with an opportunity to say no before getting into marriage. For instance, a couple may use a lot of money during their wedding until their reserves get depleted to the extent that they can no longer live the luxurious life they planned for. This has left many families destroyed since they are forced to settle for something that was never in their dreams. Other couples may use the better part of their money on building a home. This means that they would be left with a smaller portion to depend on. Therefore, disagreements may come up when the expected lifestyle is not achieved (Hatchwell, 2016)
Having to be conscious of one’s own parental roles is healthy for a long-lasting family. However, when a couple neglects his/her responsibilities as a parent then chances are that they are likely to identify with a single lifestyle and forget that they were one married. This means that they grow to admire their single friends and become nostalgic of their previous single life. In another way, couples often part ways when they have conflicting visions for success. For instance, one of the couple might be obsessed with spending as the becomes more concerned of the future and decides to save more (Hatchwell, 2016). This is a conflict of interest that when not harmonized may lead to a divorce. Another reason may be that one’s feelings towards the other has reduced to dangerous levels. When one partner always come up with excuses for not being as sexual as before, then chances of such a couple parting ways are high. When a couple doesn’t meet set objectives, then they are likely to divorce especially when one doesn’t encourage the other to remain focused and determined. Lack of enough finances that can run all the activities of a family is a potential cause of divorce. Lastly, having different priorities when it comes to goals for the family is another.
Disappearance of intimacy is also another contributing factor to divorce. At the beginning of most marriages, couples are always exited and active but as time goes by, either one or both start to lose interest or even have a genuine reason not to be intimate like they may be unwell. This often makes one of the partners or both to look for other partners outside putting their marriage in jeopardy (Leydecker& White 2007). The couples start complaining that either their partners are not romantic or as sexual as they used to be during the earlier periods of their marriage.
- Effects of divorce
Individuals and the society are affected by divorce. Women for instance may end up losing self-esteem. Reason being they see divorce as the halt of everything after a long process of misunderstandings. Therefore, women have more negative feelings than men. This is because, according to reports, men have a higher tendency of resorting for divorce since they see it as something that has to happen. The society in general doesn’t get any benefits from divorce, instead, reduced welfare and social cohesion ranging from children to adults, those affected and those not affected, is usually the order of the day. Therefore, women, men and children are all victims of divorce in one way or the other
Various scholars and researchers have looked into divorce and its effects in detail. For instance, Patrick, F. Fagan and Aaron Churchill have talked about divorce and extensively gave out reasons as to why it has become so common among the American society, they even indicated that divorce had very bad effects to the affected children. In their article, it is clear that the effects of divorce can lead to emotional degradation of the children, reduced economic welfare and even reduced performance when it comes to handling their own relationships. They help us see that it is not appropriate to have a divorce since it would have adverse effects to the children.From a general point of view, divorce has adverse effects of to the welfare of the society: The social inputs that every member has contributed in terms of capital are reduced to almost nothing. Similarly, human capital that has always existed within the society is usually at stake when divorce sets in. This can be explained in a more elaborate context, for instance, the overall costs to the taxpayer is likely to go up while actually lowering the portion of the society that exist as taxpayers (Hatchwell, 2016).
Another author, Paul B, Hill, says that divorce has increased over the years among the U.S couples. He says that the sociology of the family is usually compromised when it comes to divorce since the children would like someone who can stand for them in times of social needs and when they need to associate with other children form different economic and religious backgrounds. He mainly focuses on the stress theory and the effects it has to one’s psychology. These different points of view within the same context helps us understand more and embrace the problems that comes with it while advocating for continued completeness among family members. The several research studies that have been conducted have always that social justice is changing and therefore, a counter set of laws towards divorce focusing mainly on social effects needs to be given an extra weight.
- The effect of divorce on parents
Parents might not feel centrally important to their children and therefore cease to keep in contact with them. When parents’ divorce and one takes custody of the children, the one who walks away without children might never look back since they no longer feel that they are important to their children. Young father of between 30 to 40 years are always responsible for abandoning their children when they feel that they are no longer centrally important to them. It however affects them psychologically as they are forced to start another life and abandon the one they had already established.
Some single parents especially women normally undergo stability problems in terms of finance and emotional satisfaction, if in any case the spouse was the sole bread winner (Jacob 1989). She is likely to resort to several other sources of getting finance. In extreme cases, some of them may end up in prostitution and even other activities that may end up putting their security at risk. Therefore, economic independence becomes an issue. They may also become victims of social isolation as other members of the society may see them as failure and those that cannot manage conflicts. Men on the other hand normally undergo relationship problems either immediately or later in life. Most of them often experience feelings of regrets and self-blame. In this respect, they may develop fears of the future due to loneliness. Divorce therefore has brought realistic negative effects to the life of both partners. This is because, either of them usually have relationship problems when they remarry. This is because they have undergone cases of mistrust and emotional stress in their previous marriages. Starting a whole new life of another marriage becomes almost impossible since they are never sure of the other person’s actions towards them. The society therefore suffers equally as the individuals: children, men and women. This is because they make up a family that eventually constitutes a community or rather a society.
Parents may become lonely and depressed. When divorce occurs when the parents are grown, for example, when the woman has reached her menopause, they might decide to stay alone and never be remarried. Some women over 40
- The effects of divorce on children
Divorce is in itself a social “vice” to children. They are normally affected in a wide range of cases and incidences. They are the immediate victims of divorce in incomparable emotional, social and even economic harm. Their life seems to be turned around from the normalcy of things to a whole new trajectory of sorrow and lack of parental guidance and motivation. This implies that the overall quality of life of such an individual has been reduced and left to a whole new environment that lacks parental affection and guidance. This at times becomes detrimental to the life of the victims in such a way that they may be reduced emotionally to a level where they would never recover.
Divorce weakens parent-child relationships. When divorce occurs, not only parents are affected but the children also experience a virtual divorce between them and their parents. Many parents undergo stress to the extent that their roles as a single divorced parent diminishes to the level where they no longer perform their responsibilities towards the welfare of their children. Children are therefore negatively affected especially during their high school and college life. Practically, children receive lesser support each day as compared to when they were in an intact family. Emotionally they live on with less affection and poor financial support. Academically, these children usually experience a negative behavioral change in attitude and the overall performance in school. Similarly, the social life and encouragement of the children is a compromised in some way. It is a common scene to see children that were previously joyful when they met their friends outdoor more involved with their own life and activities This suggest that their social life becomes immature and it is for this reason that most of them cannot keep friendships and other relationships long enough.
Another consequence is that weakened father-child, mother-child and grandparent-child relationships. Children that become effects of divorce often lose the touch of a warm environment of a stable home. Mothers often provide great emotional support to children. They are for continued encouragement they give to their children depending on what matters at that time. That’s why children’s trust towards their parents, friends and even their teachers reduce. Fathers are normally not present before their children as their mother. After a divorce, the interaction between the children and their father gradually goes down as they suffer the effects of lack of a father figure. The son is usually the most affected. This becomes worse when the child happens to have been present during the fight and the whole process of divorce. This holds meaning because study shows that divorced fathers are less caring. Paternal grandparents often fail to see their grandchildren after divorce than the maternal grandparents. Generally, children for divorced families often find conflict management challenging simply because they never saw their parents settle their differences and that the eventual resolution of their parents was to give up.
In conclusion, divorce is one issue that has existed overtime. It is caused by a number of factors which may include lack of individual identity, conflict of interest and priorities, lack of intimacy, unmet expectations, the case of a couple not sharing visions of success, being lost in roles and when a couple gets into marriage for the wrong reasons. All these have a negative contribution towards the social and academic life of the affected children. Fathers, mothers and grandparents, all have major roles to play in the development of a child towards a responsible and a successful adult. Therefore, when a divorce occurs, children are normally denied the chance to get the best out of proper upbringing.
Another effect of divorce is that is continuously loosen the bonds that previously existed between family members, that is, the relationship between both parents and the affected children. This has resulting adverse effects that rests upon all the parties involved. This ranges from poor management methods with regard to destructive conflicts, reduced social motivation to children. Another effect of this is likely to be unexpectedly early loss of virginity and even a reduced sense of femininity and masculinity among the young children. In a larger context, the affected children are likely to experience more problems when dating and even when having their own relationships are later stages. This simply means that they will find divorcing way more common than the normal way a different child that was not affected by divorce would view it. This is normally associated with a reduced desire to have kids later in life. Generally, consequences that are associated with divorce comprise, a reduction or even lack of proper emotional support, difficulties that associated with lack enough funds and even a rise of negativities in one’s life.
- Divorce statistics in Qatar
The following statistics is from a report released by the Ministry of Development planning and statistics about the trends of Qatar marriage and divorce which also got the support of the Supreme Judiciary council (Karoly& Mattock 2006). In Qatar, spouses who do not have any blood ties account for 65 percent of the divorces among the people of the country, while first degree relatives are involved in 21 percent of the divorces and second degree relatives in 14 percent. Spouses between the ages of 20-29 account for 37% of the divorces, whereas those between 30-39 age group claim 34.4%. The ones who fall below the age of 20 account for only 0.4 percent of the divorces because there is only a small number of spouses who fall in this category. As for spouses who are not of Qatari descent, those between 30-39 account for 47.2 % which is the highest. Among the Qatari wives, the statistics is, those between 20-20 constitute49.4% of the divorces, while in 28.8% is taken by those between 30-39 years. The non-Qatari wives takes the following trend; 40.8% of the divorces involves those in the 20-29 age group. In the year 2011, 60% of divorces occurred within the first 5 years that couples got married and before consummation. Couples who had been married for not less than twenty years recorded the least number of divorces. In 2011, couples married for 5 to 9 years realized an increase from 17.1% in 2010 to 17.8%.
In 2011, 93.8% of the number of divorce cases among the Qatari husbands occurred with lack of other wives in a marriage bond while those who had other wives constituted 5.4% of the total cases recorded and the statistics was similar for the cases of non-Qatari husbands. The report indicated that before consummation, 48.1% of the divorces were considered minor and irrevocable while 23.2% was that taken by revocable divorce. Before consummation, it Qatari women between the ages of 20-24 who recorded the highest percentage, while most cases were recorded in women in the 20-29 age bracket among the non-Qatari. The statistics was similar for the males both Qatari and non-Qatari which was males between 25-29 being responsible for the highest number of divorce cases before consummation. In divorce cases within the first four years of marriage, all the other groups except the non-Qatari men recorded the highest percentage between the age of 25 to 29. The non-Qatari men recorded the highest number between 30-34 years. According to the 2011 report most divorce cases occurred among those who had no children which was 69.1% then 9% for spouses with a single child,and 7.2% for those with 2 children.
Three hundred and eighteen women and two hundred and sixty men who recorded the highest number of divorce cases were high school graduates when the research was conducted relating divorce to the level of education. Between 2002 to 2005 the divorce rate among the Qatari nationals from 9.8 for athousand nationals to 7.4% for women in 2005 and later in 2011 climbing to 8.7. The rate of divorce dropped from 11.2 for a thousand in 2002 for men to 8.5 in 2005, and in 2011 climbing to 10.0. The above is the statistical report given in 2011.
- Conclusion
This research paper has intended to exhaust all the aspects of divorce. The paper has examined the causes of divorce and explained how the causes lead to the actual divorce. The cause suggest that divorce can actually be avoided and it is spouse’s personalities that often cause divorce. The effects of divorce on both the parents and children are also discussed herein. Even though both parties suffer during this period of divorce, it is the children who suffer the most. The effects of divorce are also different. It affects mothers in a different way as the father. The statistics of divorce in Qatar has also been discussed as it was released by the Ministry of Development Planning and statistics. It is well detailed as it discusses divorce from all perspectives i.e. from educational point of view, gender, nationality and age.
Appendix
The questionnaire consisted of choices that ranged from, agree, strongly agree, disagree and strongly disagree. The whole research consisted of questions revolving around children, mothers, fathers and other people who have an idea and or have experienced divorce. The last two questions were however, open ended.
References
Leydecker, K., & White, N. (2007). After intimacy: The culture of divorce in the West since 1789. Bern: Peter Lang.
Buss, D. M. (1991). Conflict in married couples: Personality predictors of anger and upset. Journal of personality, 59(4), 663-688.
Williams, B. K., Sawyer, S. C., &Wahlstrom, C. M. (2012). Marriages, families, and intimate relationships. Pearson Higher Ed.
Hatchwell, B. J. (2016). Long-tailed tits: Ecological causes and fitness consequences of redirected helping. Cooperative Breeding in Vertebrates: Studies of Ecology, Evolution, and Behavior, 39.
Clarke-Stewart, A., & Brentano, C. (2006). Divorce: Causes and consequences. New Haven [Conn.: Yale University Press.
Wallerstein, J. S. (1991). The long-term effects of divorce on children: A review. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 30(3), 349-360.
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Karoly, L. A., & Mattock, M. G. (2006). Qatar Supreme Council for Family Affairs: Database of social indicators : final report. Santa Monica, CA: Rand.
Kuciarska-Ciesielska, M. (1992). [Causes of divorce]. Wiadomoscistatystyczne (Warsaw, Poland: 1956), 37(1), 13-19.
Jacob, H. (1989). Another look at no-fault divorce and the post-divorce finances of women. Law and Society Review, 95-115.
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