Sample Essay on How Parenting Affects a Family’s Relationship

Introduction

Though parenting influences every relationship within a family, its influence on parents-children relationships is crucial as it plays a key role in shaping the future of the children. This has led to many parents focusing on the improvement of their means of parenting by ensuring healthy relationships that are favorable for all members of the family (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010). Through positive parenting, approachable, responsive, and loving parents, children build up the skills required to be successful in life. Positive parents-children relationships have strong impacts on the psychological welfare of children, their vital coping and problem resolving capabilities, and future ability for a family’s relationships. Moreover, through positive parenting, children acquire skills necessary for engagement with other people, and management of their emotions and conduct (Hrdy, 2009). Nevertheless, in communities with a high rate of domestic violence, children are at a high risk of developing psychological, social, and behavioral setbacks, in addition to challenges with attention and success in education. Frequent and extreme family violence also affects the children’s sense of protection and refuge, which influences their relationships with parents and other people. Family violence engages children and could lead to adjustment difficulties, especially when children start feeling guilty of the problems with their parents. Parenting that offers warmth, love, psychological support, and positive reinforcement has been established to influence the relationships within the family positively.            Negative Effects

            Negative parenting could lead to divorce, which affects the relationships within the family adversely. For instance, though the majority of children can develop healthy future relationships after encountering the divorce of their parents, some could face hardships in their future families. In the case of a looming divorce, the experience at all times issues the alternatives of either separating with the spouse and children or staying and struggling to make things better (Hrdy, 2009). On this note, it is vital to avoid domestic violence and teach children concerning relationship betterment for their future to make sure that they will in future ensure healthy family relationships on their own, and have the ability to discuss with a partner to make suitable decisions.

It is evident that the children of divorced parents have a high chance of getting divorced in the future families (Ayoub, Vallotton, & Mastergeorge, 2011). Researches affirm that women from divorced parents have about 60% greater divorce level in their marriages while judged against women from non-divorced parents (Ayoub et al, 2011). Moreover, the studies also establish that men from divorced parents have 35% greater divorce likelihood when compared to men from non-divorced parents. One of the reasons for this affirmation is that when parents divorce, it appears to send a signal indirectly to their children that a divorce is tolerable. To prevent negative effects to children in such occurrences, it is recommended having age-suitable discussions with the children concerning the general causes of the divorce so that the children understand.

When children watch the marriages of their parents crumbling, it is likely that they could take up a distrustful attitude towards relationships at large, particularly when high rates of parental aggression were evident. Some older children could as well wander off from the idea of marriage altogether to turn away from the likelihood of such a divorce in their future relationships with a spouse. In accordance with Ayoub et al. (2011), parenting could avoid negative attitudes of children concerning relationships through creating room for cooperative conduct. On this note, the parents could ensure creation of civil, loving, and respectful conduct towards one another. When divorce is inevitable, demonstrating that the parent can still treat the ex-partner with decorum and value could assist the children learn that conflicts should not result in a total collapse in a relationship (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010).

Watching the parents’ relationship die as children could raise sentiments of anxiety when getting into relationships in the future since the children of divorced parents typically concentrate too much on the broken relationship and get a notion that they may as well encounter a similar outcome. Most children tend to believe that one or the two parents gave up on love, and they feel discouraged too (Ayoub et al., 2011). Studies affirm that divorced parents ought to show their children that despite the occurrence, they still believe in marriage and that it is worth the risk. Positive parenting is built on trust and love; nevertheless, the majority of children of divorced parents have challenges with trust while engaging in their own relationship problems, particularly in cases where they have seen a breakdown of trust in the relationship between their parents. Handling the feelings of betrayal could keep on affecting the children when the emotions are weighty, powerful, and intricate (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010).

In families where handling of the children is reasonably negative, a single child could be indirectly preferred, not due to actual parental inclination, but merely by virtue of the reality that the child is not the most recurrent target of blameworthiness. Destructive coalitions could even occur between the preferred child and a single or both parents, with the outcome that the less preferred child is blamed and oppressed by the members of the family, especially in the families that have multiple relationship challenges. On the contrary, the blamed child or children could react with hatred and violent behavior towards the favored sibling (Golombok et al., 2006).

Positive Effects

            The daily interrelations in a family, between parents or parents with their children go a long way in shaping their psychological, physical, spiritual, and intellectual advancement. When parents are perceptive and receptive to each other and to their children’s welfare, they lead to suitable communication and interrelations between the parents and the parents and their children (Emery, 2012). Such interrelations assist the children create a sense of confidence and shape different psychological expressions in addition to psychological regulation abilities. Parents should engage in daily learning endeavors with their children and assist them generate lifelong inspiration, determination, and a love of knowledge. For the majority of parents, the changeover to parenthood could be a period of pleasure, stress, and indecision. Prior to the birth or adoption of the baby, parents ought to prepare themselves for the parenting roles through taking time to think about their future children and how best to rear them. Expectant mothers should start changing into their roles as parents as they progress with the development of the unborn baby (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010).

Parents that start taking their roles of parenting early enough, and reinforce the bond with one another in the family demonstrate greater rates of sensitivity with their children and are more engaged in the daily suitable relationships in the family through ensuring greater relationship satisfaction. Certainly, single parents and parents willing to adopt children could as well build positive relationships in the family and ensure well-built connections with their children. Generating a secure and suitable parenting environment is also a commendable stride to promoting positive parent-parent and parents-children relationships. Studies on substance abuse by either of the parents are intricate (Emery, 2012). It is hard to understand concerning the impacts of drug use in the relationships within a family completely, for instance, poverty, distress, family violence, and other effects of drug abuse. If not well handled, such effects could influence even the children into drug abuse. Drug abuse by either parent ought to be handled with suitable interventions and strategies such as counseling.

Positive parent-children relationships could as well be built even in cases of infants. For instance, adequate breastfeeding is a protective aspect for suitable parent-child connections all through the infancy. Suitable and responsive feeding results in mutual parents-children relationships and promotes the development of safe connections. Positive relationships are the practices through which parents and children interrelate with one another in the family. Apart from love and care, other forms of positive relationships could be attained via the use of gestures, facial expressions, vocalizations, and the determination to ensure lifelong ties (Emery, 2012). For instance, if a tired baby cries and a parent acts in response with soothing the baby or singing a lullaby, the baby strengthens the relationship with the parent through calming, playing, or sleeping. Through such relationships, parents become confident and strongly committed to the welfare of their children. Moreover, babies learn that their families are secure and trustworthy if they can express their requirements and anticipate suitable reactions (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010).

Studies in connection and interrelations within a family have brought about a huge body of information and a vast field of learning. Such studies have illustrated the manner in which parenting backs the psychological well-being of the parents and their children. They also demonstrate the way dissimilar parenting approaches lead to varying kinds of relationships in a family. Nonetheless, parents do not have to be faultlessly connected with their children all the time, and they do not have to react flawlessly to every one of the demands of their children. Normal, sensitive reactions at times are acceptable (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010). When parents and children misinterpret the requirements of one another, as occasionally expected, there will be an impermanent disorder in their relationships. This offers them an opportunity to learn the way of addressing short-lived instances of anger and to extend to one another and reunite again. Nevertheless, if misunderstandings turn out to be the norm, the relationships in the family could be greatly affected. In such cases, the children could fail to depend on the receptiveness of their parents, and in extreme instances the development of the children could deteriorate.

Parents-children relationships are as well influenced by the individual attributes of every child and by the nature of the children’s temper with the parents’. For instance, an extremely shy child could be difficult for outgoing parents to comprehend (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010). On the other hand, an extremely active child could be fatiguing for any parent, particularly the parents that are already strained. Such factors of the personality of children and other attributes controlled by genetics, in addition to their exceptional responses to different parenting conducts and approaches as well affect the parent-child connections. Constructive parents-children relationships could appear very distinctive in dissimilar families. A broad array of care giving approaches, playful interrelations, and psychological reactions enhance healthy growth of children.

The reactions of parents to the demands and conducts of their children vary; this could rely on their temper, personal account, present life circumstances, and their cultural objectives and convictions (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010). The reactions of the parents could also differ with their gender; fathers and mothers control the social and psychological development of their children in different ways. In addition, families of all kinds could rear successful children (Golombok et al., 2006). This encompasses a mother and father, single parents, and families that have multiple members of the family engaged in the provision of care. It as well encompasses parents in same-sex marriages, heterosexual marriages, or grandparents as care providers. What matters is the kind and excellence of the connections in every family for the healthy development of the children and the relations of the parents (Golombok et al., 2006).

Challenges and Solutions

            Directly and indirectly, impoverishment influences the development of children, relationships of the parents, parent-child interrelations, and the operations in any family. Family that experience poor standards of living are more probable of having inadequate learning, joblessness, reliance on public aid, single parenthood, domestic violence, and divorce. Where families are segregated, have inadequate resources, and endure high trauma and instability, the threat of negative child health and behavioral results is greater. The development of children could be ruined where parents are greatly distressed, do not have social support, and when they perceive the temper of their children as challenging. Anyone of the aforementioned problems creates difficulties and in some way affects the relationships within a family. When the risks are intense and frequent, the stability and strength of relationships in a family are weakened (Duncan & Bardacke, 2010). Such an accumulation of risk aspects could negatively influence parent-parent and parent-child interrelations, or the intellectual, cognitive, psychological, and social development of children.

To overcome these challenges parents could seek different interventions and protective aspects, for instance, counseling programs, constant appeal for employment and other payable tasks, and ensuring improved communication proficiencies in the family (Golombok et al., 2006). The resolution of disagreements within a family has established to assist the children and their parents constructively and guard them against the impacts of such things as divorce. Some protective aspects for children after divorce encompass ensuring positive, loving, and caring affiliations with at least one and if possible both actively engaged parents, and having constructive relations between siblings. Offering children a surrounding where they feel physically and emotionally secure is vitally significant for their welfare and has to be accorded high preference.

Conclusion

Parenting has been demonstrated to have an essential influence in the connections within a family and has led to many parents focusing on the development of their means of parenting by ensuring healthy relationships that are favorable for all members of the family. Depressing parenting could cause a divorce, which unconstructively affects the affiliations within a family. Even in divorce, parents could assist their children deal with trust concerns through ensuring retention of cordial parenting relationships with one another and with the children. When parents are kind to each other and to their children and seek interventions when need be, they lead to appropriate communication and interrelations between them and their children.

References

Ayoub, C., Vallotton, C. D., & Mastergeorge, A. M. (2011). Developmental pathways to integrated social skills: The roles of parenting and early intervention. Child development, 82(2), 583-600.

Duncan, L. G., & Bardacke, N. (2010). Mindfulness-based childbirth and parenting education: Promoting family mindfulness during the perinatal period. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 19(2), 190-202.

Emery, R. E. (2012). Renegotiating family relationships: Divorce, child custody, and mediation. New York City: Guilford Press.

Golombok, S., Murray, C., Jadva, V., Lycett, E., MacCallum, F., & Rust, J. (2006). Non-genetic and non-gestational parenthood: consequences for parent–child relationships and the psychological well-being of mothers, fathers, and children at age 3. Human Reproduction, 21(7), 1918-1924.

Hrdy, S. B. (2009). Mothers and others: The evolutionary origins of mutual understanding. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.