Sample Essay on Peer Review Letter

Introduction

I read your paper and it was great seeing that you remembered to include a thesis statement for your paper as recommended in essay writing. However, you could have summarized the quote that contains the thesis statement into a more understandable sentence. It is so long that the reader gets lost in between, and in the end, it is hard to comprehend your stand. A thesis statement should be a clear, concise, sentence that communicates to the reader your assumptions at the first glance.

Body

The language used is simple for all levels of readers to understand and I commend you for that inclusion. However, I came across some grammatical errors in your paper. For instance, you should not end a sentence with a preposition, such as for, as, to, and has when writing research papers. Second, avoid the use of short forms or contractions, such as you’re, and they’re. Remember research papers are formal reports and the use of such words makes them look informal. On the same note, ensure you do not use passive voice in your research papers as you have done in this particular one, for instance, “are positioned,” and “are employed.”

I noted that you used several quotations in your paper, which is good because it shows you did extensive research. However, some of the quotes do not have a citation meaning you have not credited the person whose idea you are using. Always remember that the failure to acknowledge the use of other people’s ideas in your works equals to plagiarism. It could not only put you in trouble with your instructors, is also a sin punishable by law. Lastly, each of your paragraphs presents a different idea where you have not only presented a point but have analyzed it and even given examples further heightening the reader’s understanding.

 

Dear Jaquelyn,

Introduction

You have started your paper well by giving the background information about your research topic. After reading the first paragraph, the reader knows the paper is about marketing particularly advertisements. However, you never included a thesis statement, which should clearly state your stand that you will defend throughout the paper. It is always the last sentence in your introductory paragraph. When you omit the thesis statement, the reader is not aware of your argument and may lose interest to read further.

Body

You have applied effort in explaining to the reader what ethos, pathos, and logos mean in marketing as well as the impact they create. However, you failed to give an example of each of them. The explanation offered is insufficient in the absence of an example. As a result, a reader who encounters such terms for the first time might feel lost and go back to look up their meanings in the dictionaries. Remember you are writing a research paper and expecting the audience to be inclusive of all levels. You must thus try to back up your points with well-illustrated examples lest some readers feel the language used is too complex.

Acknowledging other authors in our work whenever we use their ideas is an excellent approach which academicians should always embrace. You have cited your borrowed ideas throughout the paper. However, some of your citations are incomplete according to the MLA formatting style. For instance, you cited Boykin and Williams but left out the page number or the paragraphs from where you got the information.