Sample Essay on Critical Response Essay

Some drivers are too dangerous to be allowed on the road.

This thesis is good because it has a sharp focus despite making a general observation. It is very specific and gives reason for its viewpoint. It does not focus on neutrality or generalization. The reader is likely to agree with the claim because it has a credible reason for the assertion. Specifics are necessary for a good thesis statement. The statement also seems obvious for a reader can easily agree with the writer more often if he had experienced an ordeal due to poor or reckless driving on the road.

It allows room for debate. Since the statement is a claim based on general view or opinion, the writer need to make a critical comment as to why these drivers are too dangerous to be allowed on the road. He/she also need to give specific information as to why the observation is justifiable. In addition, the writer needs to offer a clearly stated analysis since his position seems subjective due to outrage other than objective.

The thesis statement show the writer’s viewpoint and other than making an assertion or viewpoint, it goes further to support the argument leaving no room for confusion while giving room for debating on the issue.

  1. Scientists will soon possess enough information about genes to cure virtually all diseases.

It needs work, this is because the thesis is too broad and does merely provide expository on the subject. In addition, it is an assertion that lacks a supporting basis, and the writer should avoid using vague words like soon and virtually for the reader to be able to understand what he/she intends to communicate.

These being just purely facts that those scientists are likely to possess information, the writer should show the evidence or source of information to convince and be precise and specific to the point. Yes, nobody refutes that scientists possess information, though where is the source of information, need to expound further by supporting the claim.

For instance, continued research and invention in the field of science, will trigger new formula for medicinal creation. This example does illustrate in detail and support the statement’s viewpoint.

Thus, the thesis statement is merely a fact and does not have a viewpoint and it can be disputed despite of it being a having an assertion or claim it lacks enough support. Not unless the writer is writing a factual based report, he/she should include an assertion or view point to the statement.

  1. Films like Spider-Man and Men in Black II show that today’s action movies rely more than ever on high-tech special effects.

This thesis statement is good and clearly illustrated and easy to understand because the viewpoint or assertion that films relying more on high tech special effects is well supported and is specific.

Thus, the thesis statement is has assertion and supported in detail with a focus on the subject matter.

  1. Wildlife refuges are not as bad as everyone thinks.

It needs works, this thesis statement is merely subjective opinion since there is no viable evidence supporting why the wildlife refuges are good as opposed to the statement declaration, or assertion. Thus, this is merely assertion with no basis. Thus, the statement is debatable, as one will need to explore further on the writers claims.

It is an opinion statement because in as much as it makes a claim, it takes a subjective stand or perspective opinion about the wildlife sanctuary. This statement lacks evidence supporting the writer’s claim or opinion on the wildlife refuge.

For instance, the thesis statement can be revised to an example shown below;

While wildlife refugees are considered as safe haven to adapted animals, there is need to look to its challenges it possess to new inhabitants.

            This statement beside it not having stated an assertion or writers viewpoint about wildlife refuges it goes ahead to support the worrying trend about the subject matter and does not opine rather provides claim with support and specific to the point.

In conclusion, when writing a thesis statement there is need to ensure that a given topic has an assertion or claims about the subject and a detailed support should ensue about the argument.

In addition, making an assertion or a claim in a thesis statement calls for the specific support of the thesis. Thus, adequate writing should provide support to the assertion. This is one of key qualities that the first thesis statement possessed. However, this important quality was lacking in most thesis statements discussed. Suffice is to say, a thesis statement is a main idea about the topic being discussed by the writer. However, it must not be stated like final voice on a topic. A good thesis statement must give room for debate and allow for incorporation on different viewpoints. That is, a good thesis statement should be engaging while also giving direction on how the debate should be go. It should an agenda but not become the final voice on the agenda or become the agenda itself.