Parties Involved
The conflict has the author on one side and his in-laws on the other. The fact the Carolyn, the author’s mother-in-law has never planned a surprise baby shower for the author shows she does not adore her. Moreover, Carolyn and the whole Chad’s family missed the previous baby shower organized by the author’s mother, yet they had an invitation. The present conflict is not new but an extension of the intense relationship between the author and her in-laws, for instance, they talk about Chad’s ex-girlfriend with positive emotion which proves they love her more than the author.
Emotions of the Conflicting Parties
The author is a friendly person who values peace and does not hold grudges. She is willing to take the first step in resolving the conflict with Carolyn by calling her to appreciate Carolyn’s efforts in the baby shower. The author felt Carolyn did not do anything to make the shower a success, but still has the willingness to call and thank her. She hopes by so doing; she will create room for a healthy relationship with her mother-in-law.
Carolyn is unloving, egoistic, and inconsiderate. She does not apologize for failing to turn up in the previous baby shower yet the author had invited her. Carolyn shows up late for the baby shower, yet she is the host and should have come earlier. Instead of welcoming the guests to eat, she asks the author to do it herself. Carolyn does not greet the guests assembled in the author’s house and never bothers to explain about the quilt tying business to the author. Chad’s siblings are ungrateful and irresponsible as they ask for money and never say thank you. Further, they spend the money given to them by Chad unnecessarily.
Identity Statements
Carolyn asked the author to ask the guests to come to the kitchen and serve themselves. The utterance reveals her as an unwelcoming person. The author called Carolyn to request if she could invite her friends to the party. Since Carolyn would be the host, she wanted her to have authority, yet it was the author’s house. Such an attitude demonstrates the author as a respectful person.
My Emotions
I pity the author who has made every effort to fit in Chad’s family but the more she tries, the more her in-laws repel her.
Assertions, Conclusions, and Accusations
The author accuses her in-laws of not liking her hence their constant communication with Chad’s ex-girlfriend. She asserts that if she ignores the hatred shown to her by the in-laws and assumes an approachable attitude, they will warm up to her. By reaching out to Carolyn and expressing her gratitude for hosting the baby shower, the author hopes to bridge the gap in their relationship. The author accuses Chad’s siblings of ungratefulness in asking for money unnecessarily, and they never remember to appreciate the generosity of Chad and his wife. The author asserts that Chad’s brother girlfriend was the one who pushed Carolyn to hold a baby shower for the author against her wish.
Questions
I would ask Carolyn whether and how Chad’s wife angered her during the baby shower. For the author, I would seek to know how Carolyn treats her other daughters-in-law.
Central Issues
The biggest cause of the conflict was poor relations between Carolyn and the author (daughter-in-law). The two have never been friends hence Carolyn’s unwillingness to participate in any occasions that concern the author.