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Sample Essay on the Changing Goals in the Family

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Sample Essay on the Changing Goals in the Family
  1. Challenges faced by individual members in the family

I am Gill, a father to three children, a husband, and a son to Frank (Howard, 1989). I try to balance my family and my career, as these are both important to me. When I realized that Kevin, my eldest son, and my two other children have issues and need therapy, I kept blaming myself for poor parenting. My wife broke the sad news that she is pregnant with our fourth child on the day I finally quit my sales job. I was not sure whether I could handle the issues. The financial challenges of having another child frustrated me. The office politics had made me a detached workaholic. My father says I am too worried, and that I should let some things go, but I do not understand this as my role is too huge and the finances are a challenge.

I am Garry, a nephew to Gill. We are only two children, my sister and I. I miss some male hero in my life; my father wants to hear nothing of us (Howard, 1989). My mother thinks that I am involved in either drugs or some other substance. My mother, however, came to realize that I was involved in some pornographic activities. The results of this are a messed personal life, poor relationship with the people close to me, and closing up on everyone else; I was so used to this pornographic activity in my bedroom. I had low self-esteem, and therefore kept to myself mostly. It took Susan’s husband to open my eyes and realize that opposite sexual attraction is normal for both boys and girls. I came to realize that I can overcome any obstacles set for me.

  1. Issues connected to life-cycle stages in the family set up

The prime age, usually marked as that between 25 and 35 years, is the most productive period in one’s life. It is the period where one assumes huge responsibilities, as part of adult life (Carr, 2006). Gill is in this range, and therefore the responsibilities are overwhelming him. Balancing family and career is the biggest challenge for him, especially amidst the financial constraints facing him. He needs to relax and allow nature to take its course. In the time being, Gill needs to look for a better job to sustain his growing family. He also needs to incorporate the wife in the burden he is having. As a family, they can solve some of the problems they are facing. As the head of the family, he needs to open communication channels so he can air the problems to his wife and see the way forward.

            Garry is an adolescent. This is the most significant stage in one’s life as the actions done affect an individual for the rest of his adult life, if not well corrected. During this period, the individual needs heroes and mature figures that he/she can emulate. Susan’ husband needs to take this position to help Garry; this is because he seems to have an authority over him, such as other family members like the uncles and the grandfather.

  1. Clinical appraisal of family

Gill is in the parenting stage (Carr, 2006). This is where various and heavy responsibilities are assumed by a person. He has a young family and must balance this with the career. He is also facing financial challenges. This increases the stress to handle both the family and the work. Gill is in stage five of the family stage, and he is living with young children. He has the responsibility of realigning the family to leave room for the children. He is adopting the parenting role, which are stressing him with the introduction of another child. Garry is in the independence stage; there are many changes in his body that he is yet to be acquainted with. Without an adult male person to guide him, he feels left out and concentrates on pornographic media to relieve himself of the sexual tension.

The vertical stressor in Gills case includes family expectations, family inheritance, and loaded issues and labels (Beutler & Clarkin, 1990). In Garry’s case, the vertical stressors include the expectations of the family and the attitude. The father to Gill had not finished his role as a father; this extended to Gill as he battled between being the best father, husband, and a worker. He frequently had conflicts with the father, and this defined his relationship in adulthood (Carter & Goldrick, 1999). Because of the absence of independence in Garry’s case, he has been frequently having quarrels with his mother.

The main issue in Gill’s life is that of parenting, work, and the financial crisis he is experiencing. His relationship with the father was not any better. This makes him more stressed, as he wants to be a better father to his children. Garry lacks the fatherly figure in his life. He keeps to himself, and this makes him be addicted to pornography. Using DSM, the relational problem in the two cases comprises of worry about a child and overprotection of the children, limiting their capacity to grow. In Garry’s case, the mother suspected him of using drugs. The situation was, however, pornographic addiction. There were unresolved parental issues in Gill’s case; this makes him to devalue his efforts in the family (Cater & McGoldrick, 1989).








Beutler, L. & Clarkin, J. (1990). Systematic Treatment Selection: Toward Targeted

Therapeutic Interventions. NY: Bruner Mazel.

Carr, A. (2006). The Handbook of Child and Adolescent Clinical Psychology. Routledge: Routledge.

Carter, B. & McGoldrick M. (1989). The Changing Family Life Cycle: A Framework  for Family Therapy. (2nd Ed).  Needham, MA: Allyn and Bacon.

Carter, B. & Goldrick, M. (1999). The Expanded family lifecycle: Individual Family and Social Perspectives (3rd Ed.). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Howard, R. (1989). Parenthood in Relation to one Another. United States: Imagine Entertainment. (124 minutes).




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