One Saturday afternoon, my sister-in-law aged twenty-eight years old visited us at our home with her two kids. The two kids were girls aged six and three years. As usual, the kids got into playing with each other as the rest of us were busy talking about various family and job related issues. Within no time, the younger child came running to her mother crying and complaining that her sister had pinched her. Upon interrogation, I learnt that the older child pinched the younger one for picking a playing object that belonged to her without her permission.
The mother was furious. She summoned the older child, pinched her and condemned her for the shameful behavior. She even threatened the child that she would beat her up if she would repeat the mistake.
The older girl left the room crying claiming that she was charged unfairly. After some few minutes, the young child was calm celebrating her victory. The older one was still crying lamenting for playing with her younger sister. She confessed that she would not play with her again.
Inasmuch as I am concerned, the mother performed exemplary well for pinching the older girl because by doing so she was able to bring order to the situation. The younger child stopped crying whereas the older one was commanded to stop crying at once or face caning. Although my sister in law was able to calm the situation, she failed for weakening an undesirable behavior without reinforcing a desirable one. She particularly did not show her older child how she should behave in the future if she was to find herself in a similar situation. Most likely the child would repeat the same mistake because she thought that she was judged harshly (Bigner, & Gerhardt, 2014). In order to stop the older child from repeating the same mistake, my sister in law should have done more than she did that day.
In order for my sister in law to reinforce a desirable behavior by weakening an undesirable one, I would recommend her to do the following next time.
In spite of the above, there is always more to a story. My sister in law reacted the way she reacted because she had observed her older child behave the same way in other instances. She told us that she wanted to instill discipline in the older child. However, she forgot that instilling discipline without reinforcing a desirable behavior may not work. It may only resolve a current issue, but fail to resolve a future one (Bigner, & Gerhardt, 2014). Therefore, I would recommend my sister in law to weaken an undesirable behavior by reinforcing a desirable behavior.
Bigner, J., & Gerhardt, C. (2014). Parent-child relations: an introduction to parenting. New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc.
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