Introduction
The mental health of a child has a strong impact on the feelings, behaviors, personal
strengths, and relationships they will develop in the future. Many people who develop emotional
challenges in their life such as moods and anxiety develop them when they are young. This is
based on the environment that the children are brought up in (McDevitt & Ormrod, 2010). In this
environment parents and educators have a key role to play in shaping the social and emotional
wellbeing of children considering that they spend majority of the time with them. Although there
are different factors that may influence the social and welling of children such as culture, social
economic status, and temperament, and individual differences, the people close to the children
still have a key role to play in shaping the emotional wellbeing of a child (Sander, 2000; Weare
& Gray, 2003). For instance, a child may be brought up in a poor family, but because of the
toiling and moiling of the parents to bring food on the table the child develops a feeling of
working hard for the rest of his life. Some of them may end up helping children with such
problems because they understand what it means going through the same. In this paper I will
discuss how my early attachment and subsequent life course has influenced my social and
emotional wellbeing and how this will affect how make decisions as an educational leader.
Children emotional wellbeing
The best thing I got from my grandmother is the belief that there is someone above who
loves and cares for use. At the end of every week I would visit my grandmother who lived some
miles away. She equipped with moral teachings from the bible that made me realize that there is
a better life to come. This has been my motivation even to date and when am faced with
challenges I remember that there is a supreme being who is in control (Mc Cain & Mustard,
1999; Wells, Barlow & Stewart-Brown, 2003). I also read the bible because I was brought up in
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such an environment where I realized that the best encouragement was from the word. The
implication of this in my life is that I easily man stress because I remember that everything that
happens is for reason. As an educator I feel that it is important to lead children in a moral way
(McDevitt & Ormrod, 2010). I need to make decisions that will see the children understand that
there is a supreme being who is control of everything.
Attachments are very vital to children because when they are strongly attached to their
parents they develop a feeling of security. It is expected that all children will have unique and
lasting emotional ties with their parents regardless of whether the parents are harsh or abusive.
According to Bowlby’s theory of attachment, I had Safe Haven characteristic because whenever
I felt embarrassed or threatened I would run to my mother for comfort and safety (Sims,
Guilfoyle & Parry, 2005). I had a long lasting attachment to my mother until I went to school. In
the early years in school I was attached to my teacher. Whenever we were playing in the field
with the other children and someone threatened me I would definitely run to the teacher. This
kind of attachment always made be secure and it enhanced my social and emotional wellbeing.
At sometimes the teacher would encourage me to be a man. Therefore, as I went to upper
primary school I realized that I could address some issues on my own without having to report to
the teacher or my mother. This means that I was developing some independence (Mc Cain &
Mustard, 1999). This has helped me even to date because I feel that my challenges are not to be
shared with other people unless they are beyond my control. This has taught me that as an
educational leader I need to make close attachments with my learners. I need to make them feel
secure and find the teacher as their source of comfort and safety (McDevitt & Ormrod, 2010).
However, I need to do this with some limits so that the learners can learn to be independent.
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The emotional wellbeing of any human being is highly influenced by stress. This also
affects the brain development of children and it may have long term effects on the children. In
the early years the environment that children are exposed to majorly defines their nature of brain
development (Wells, Barlow & Stewart-Brown, 2003). When I was in preschool my father used
to drink much and at times come home when he was disorderly. He would threaten the whole
family. This went to extremes and I remember than one day my mother had to take me to our
neighbor where is spend the night. This gave me much stress and I developed a negative attitude
towards my father. At times I could see my father and just loose the good moods I had. Later
when I was joining high school my father was involved in a road accident and he passed away
(McDevitt & Ormrod, 2010). This creates a hole inside my heart and even to date I feel that I had
something unsettled with my father. I feel bad that he left his family when he was not in a good
relationship with us. As an educational leader I feel that I should make decisions that will see
children learn in an environment where they feel safe, love, and respected. The home
environment will determine how children do in school (Sims, Guilfoyle & Parry, 2005). This is
because some children are bright, but will not perform well because of stress coming from home.
Therefore, as an educator I also need to involve parents in the wellbeing of their children.
Educating small children is more of a calling than a profession because the educator has to have
the needs and emotional wellbeing of the learners at heart (Weare & Gray, 2003). I believe that if
my teacher in preschool would have engaged with my father and helped him to change for my
sake I would not have the hole I have in my heart even to date.
In my relationship with my father we had to go through hard times. This is something
that I had noticed in other families more so for the children from poor backgrounds. Majority of
them could not afford the basic needs (Weare & Gray, 2003). This affected their education and
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majority of them have become manual laborers. However, they are manual laborers, but they are
comfortable with that because it was beyond their control (Mc Cain & Mustard, 1999). Although
I was brought up in a well up family I had to experience some stress because of the bad treatment
we got from our father. Therefore, as an educational I would advocate for policies that would see
all children get full access to basic needs. This is important for their social and emotional
wellbeing. It is important because it will help them shape a better future when they are in an
environment where they can access all they need. The policies need to touch on teachers, parents,
and the society at large so that all understand that the social wellbeing of all children is a future
resource for the country (McDevitt & Ormrod, 2010; Sims, Guilfoyle & Parry, 2005). The
quality of workers in a country will be strongly influenced by their social and emotional
wellbeing which directly translates to their early life.
My grandmother had realized that I was not getting the right treatment from my father.
This is because at times she would ask me how my father was fairing and then I would get
perturbed. Therefore, she always taught me that I have to act like a man no matter the age. This
was to mean that I had to learn to act independently. At times I would be faced with varied
challenges and instead of telling anyone I just decide to solve on my own (Sander, 2000; Wells,
Barlow & Stewart-Brown, 2003). For instance, I used to take myself to the shower whenever I
felt I needed to take a shower. I did not wait for my mother to bath because my grandmother had
taught me to be independent. I developed motor skills at an early age. This has an influence in
my life even to date because everything I do I first consider myself as the solution before
involving others (Weare & Gray, 2003). Therefore, parents and teachers did to make learners
develop motor skills at early ages. They did to be given enough time to learn on their own and
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make their independent decisions. Through this they will be helpful to themselves and to others
in the society.
The brain of a three year old child is fully developed. Therefore, whatever they
experience they can understand it. Of most important is that the children can create trust or
mistrust in relationships. When children have trust to their parents, caregivers, and teachers this
is likely to enhance their mental health. However, when there is mistrust the child is likely to
develop mental problems. This was the case with my father because I never trusted him. At times
he would treat us well and take the whole family for shopping and holiday. However, I never felt
that he was doing this for our good (Sims, Guilfoyle & Parry, 2005; Weare & Gray, 2003). I had
completely lost trust in him. Therefore, whenever he was doing something to me I felt that it was
not for my good. I remember a day he came home carrying Christmas clothes on the eve of the
day. Although everyone expected that I would wear the clothes during the big day I did not
because I felt that there was something behind me being bought new clothes by my father. This
always affected my mental health because this was the person who was always there in good and
bad times. As an educational leader I need to make decisions that will see children develop trust
in me. I also need to involve their parents so that in areas where I feel there is no trust I restore it.
It is very unreasonable to make young children lack trust in people they see and even relate with
yet they will trust a supreme being who they have never seen (Sims, Guilfoyle & Parry, 2005;
Weare & Gray, 2003). I believe that this is the best thing that educators can do so that all the
children trust their teachers, their parents, and even the community at large.
Conclusion
Educators have a strong influence in emotional wellbeing of children. Children develop
their feelings, behaviors, relationships, and personal goals that are later reflected in life. Brain
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development is a continuous process and educators have to ensure that they give learners the best
environment so that they can create good relationships and enhance their social and emotional
wellbeing. As professionals they also need to involve parents so that they can also help in
enhancing the social and emotional wellbeing of their children. The best thing that parents and
teachers can give to children is social and emotional wellbeing because this will have both social
and economic advantages in the future. It is important to understand that as a nature of every
human being the good things are easily forgotten, but the bad things will create long lasting
memories. Therefore, parents and teachers need to take it as a collective responsibility to provide
children with an environment where they feel they are loved, safe, and respected. When they
have this environment the children will learn to be independent. They will also learn to make
their own decisions and the parents will have less time to take care of their children. The teachers
will also have learners who are ready to learn.
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References
Mc Cain, M. & Mustard, F. (1999). Final Report: Reversing the Real Brain Drain. Toronto:
Council for Early Childhood Development.
McDevitt, T. M. & Ormrod, J. E. (2010). Child development and education. 4 th Ed. New Jersey:
Prentice Hall/Pearson.
Sander, L (2000). Where are we going in the field of infant mental health? Infant Mental Health
Journal, 21, 5-20.
Sims, M., Guilfoyle, A. & Parry, T. (2005). What cortisol levels tell us about quality in childcare
centers? Australian Journal of Early Childhood, 30(2) 29-39.
Weare, K. & Gray, G. (2003). What works in developing children’s emotional and social
competence and well-being? DfES Research Report RR456. Nottingham: DfES
Publications
Wells, J., Barlow, J. & Stewart-Brown, S. (2003). A systematic review of universal approaches
to mental health promotion in schools. Health Education Journal, 103, 197 -220.